This is not therapy. It's a companion — something to reach for at 2am or on a hard day or when you need to feel less alone. But there are things it can't do, and there are experiences it can't hold.

If what you're going through feels bigger than what any app or book or self-help tool can contain — that's not a failure. That's information.

Some signs that professional support might help. You don't need all of these. Even one is enough reason.

The grief hasn't shifted at all — same intensity, same weight, and it's still more than you can hold — and it's been many months. You're having persistent intrusive images of the death that you can't stop or control. You're using alcohol, drugs, or other substances to get through the days. Your relationships are fracturing. You can't function at a basic level — eating, sleeping, getting out of bed — and it's not improving. You're having thoughts about harming yourself.

If any of that is happening, talking to someone who does this for a living isn't giving up on your own strength. It's using a resource that exists specifically for this.

After a death by suicide, the line between grief and trauma can blur. Grief is the response to the loss — the missing, the sadness, the adjustment. Trauma is the response to how the loss happened — the shock, the intrusive images, being on high alert all the time, the nightmares.

Many people who lose someone to suicide carry both, and they need different kinds of help. Grief counselling helps with the loss. Trauma therapy helps with the way it happened — there are people trained to work with exactly this kind of loss. Some therapists work with both. They exist, and they're worth finding.

A few practical notes. If you're looking for a therapist, look for someone with specific experience in grief after suicide. Not every counsellor understands the particular weight of losing someone this way. It's okay to ask before you book: "Do you have experience with suicide loss?"

If cost is a barrier, many regions have free or subsidised grief counselling. Your GP can refer you. Some suicide bereavement organisations offer free support groups or counselling. The crisis resources here include organisations that can help you find local support.

You don't have to be in crisis to seek help. "I'm struggling and I want support" is enough reason. You don't need to earn the right to ask.